Wouldn’t We All Like To?

From the DP: “Authorities dug up the hot dog near the Cedar Hill Mobile Home Park, where they discovered he had lost…his bottles of ketchup and mustard, with which he was slathering himself so he could appear more delicious.”

6 Responses to “Wouldn’t We All Like To?”


  1. 1 Victoria May 11th, 2008 at 12:10 am

    The DP has really been writing some great headlines lately: Arrest Made in Hotdog’s Abduction.

    Does anyone know why the kidnappers broke off the wiener’s arms and condiments? That seems awfully extreme…

  2. 2 Perlogik May 11th, 2008 at 12:15 am

    Well the use of ketchup on hot dogs is so wrong that this crime may, in fact, be justifiable.

    Also Victoria “broke off the wiener’s arm and condiments” just made me giggle

  3. 3 Street May 11th, 2008 at 10:05 am

    You’d have to do more than simply dress up wieners in condiments to make them appetizing.

  4. 4 Victoria May 11th, 2008 at 12:14 pm

    I love, LOVE, old-school creepy cartoon restaurant mascots. Almost put an eBay bid in on an enormous Bob’s Big Boy statue for my yard once. Perhaps glad I didn’t in light of this recent crime.

    Perlogik, although I also detest ketchup on my ‘dogs, I defend this wiener’s right to slather himself with the condiments of his choice.

    But hey, when did the DP grow a sense of humor?

  5. 5 mandy May 12th, 2008 at 10:06 am

    If you were a hot dog, and you were starving, would you eat yourself?…I’d smother myself with brown mustard and relish. I’d be so delicious!

    (Am I the only one who immediately thought of Will Ferrell’s Harry Caray impression? Video here.)

  6. 6 Cville Eye May 12th, 2008 at 10:39 am

    Mustard, onions, ketchup, relish, topped with a little slaw, chili and kraut.

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